The big day had arrived. Everything was in place despite there being setbacks for the ten ram lambs to go to Hillside Animal Sanctuary. I was running late then was late. I called the transport company and the person who was coming had come down with bad food poisoning and so it was all nearly off. She had sent her partner out who was patient but worried as they had ten horses of their own to look after and had not tended to yet. I was really grateful that they did not let me down as it was a real possibility that would have happened. It was my day off and I had two days off together to ensure that I could settle them in the next day.
We were not able to move the rams till the farm manager came. There was a trailer blocking the way and only a tractor could move it. Once the farm manager arrived, it was plain sailing. The rams had all come out to look and see what was happening. They looked a bit confused and it took a short while to get them in to the van. Charlie was a bit panicked and was the last to load. The driver had been to the Royal Vets College before and was able to take local roads to avoid the traffic.
This was helpful because we were running late. There was paperwork to do once the ram lambs were unloaded. The boys had been very good and not afraid. I had done my best to reassure them but I did not know how they would be after the operations. I wondered that as the van was used for horses, if it had made the difference, as maybe the smell of fear from the usual trailers lingers in the air when farm animals are transported in these, whereas horses are a different industry altogether, and there might be nicer smells.
I came back about 2ish and they were not ready to go yet. The vet wanted to keep them to observe them a bit longer. The health checks had brought up that they were a bit skinny (condition score 2) but otherwise nothing too wrong with them. He wanted to observe the bleeding. Charlie had bled more than the others. Leroy predictably had been the lively one. He is the dominant in the flock and had been given time with the ewe lambs so knew with Larry, Justin and Jake what he was giving up. The alternative though is slaughter and although they might not have wanted me to make that decision for them, I did.
They all looked at me silently. 10 pairs of eyes fixed on me. They all knew, and no one looked very impressed at losing their fertility. Please don’t think I am being sentimental. I know that it was the most responsible thing to do given behaviour traits in sheep and also that they were going to a sanctuary who did not need to deal with the possibility of them producing more sheep. It makes me uncomfortable though that they are sentient beings and I had taken this choice away from them. I wondered what they might be thinking and thought that I was probably their least favoured person at the moment. They loaded in to the van walking a bit stiffly. All had survived with no complications and were under long term anaesthetic but it still must not be the greatest for them to travel after an operation. The driver looked at them sympathetically. It was drizzly when we set off and when it brightened a hopeful rainbow showed in the grey sky. The drive to the sanctuary was long and it was dark by the time we got there. The driver had been there before and knew where he was going.
Once at Hillside Animal Sanctuary, I went to reception and the founder, Wendy Valentine was there with my contact, John. They led us to the barn that they would be housed in for assessment and also to be their home till the weather was better. It was late. The sheep were only interested in exploring their new environment and were ravenous as they had not eaten all day. It was plush compared with what they were used to and I felt overwhelmed at the hospitality. I was tired. I had covered about 5-6 hours of driving today and just wanted to find my accommodation. I said that I would return tomorrow late morning to the sanctuary. It was a full moon and I stopped a few moments to appreciate the silence of the country lane.
The Salhouse Lodge was friendly and clean and definitely gave me that bit of comfort and cosiness that I needed with everything going on. I was ravenous so I ordered some dinner and went up to settle in. I had hoped to do a report that I had needed to do for work but was only fit for snoozing that evening, I was so exhausted and my kidneys had been playing up the last few days.
I had a delicious breakfast the next morning, and chatted across tables to a friendly sailor who had been staying there and was rearing to go out on his new boat. I left a leisurely time and went to the sanctuary where I saw John and Wendy. They were viewing footage of the slaughter houses that they had taken and showed me some. I can say this as this footage is now out. It was difficult viewing. I have actually been to a slaughter house once as I wanted to explore the whole food to fork process and I did not want to be a hypocrite if I ate meat. The men in the footage shown to me had a total disregard for what the animals were giving up and the fear they had. I have always been struck by my visit to the abattoir of the sacrifice animals make so we can eat and since then have more of a respect for the meat I do eat. I am trying to give up. I have succeeded in giving up lamb. Every time I am faced with the prospect of eating lamb, I think of Georgie now and what might have become of her. I can only hope that she and Dot were kept for breeding where they ended up and not meat. I have observed animals loaded for slaughter and also how they react when seeing those they are with being killed in front of them and I don’t think I can comprehend how this must feel – as it has not happened to me but adding to this pain is unnecessary.
I told Wendy and John that I was on an intern ship but said that I would regularly donate once I was earning some money and would do what I could to let people know of the work they were doing. I had looked at starting an animal sanctuary when first faced with the lambs going to slaughter but when I thought about the costs and it would involve funding then it just seemed too difficult and not what I really wanted to do. Here at Hillside they will be able to live to the end of their natural lives and make new friends. The implication had hit me that it was very far away for me to come, about three and a half hours away, so volunteering was not a viable option. I was honest about my feelings and said that I felt bad for giving them the responsibility to feed ten more lambs when they already had so many mouths to feed. They really have been the knights in shining armour in this process and everyone I have dealt with to make this happen have been an inspiration. The funders, the animal transport horse people, the vets and I knew it was time to talk about what next. We all agreed the best thing was that I would say my goodbyes today. They would soon be integrated with the main flock and have different lives with different friendships to make. I was confident I was leaving them in good hands and this was the best outcome. I was told that if I needed to bring the 11th if he became well enough to travel, then he would be welcome. The issue would be of getting him there. Of course, if the pregnant females on the farm do not prove good mothers or produce babies, they also will be up for slaughter, and I have asked that I be kept informed. It is pretty standard flock management to cull those who do not prove fruitful for healthy flock management. There was no negligence on the farm’s part and they remain helpful and do good work within it.
I drove down to the information office where I was met by some lovely staff who took me to the barn. I had handed over the records and went to see the boys. I spent about 4 hours saying goodbye. I wanted to engage with each individually and am guilty of wanting my last lamb selfies to remember the occasion. One of the two on-site vets came by to look at them and check the bleeding. I asked her about how they stare at the walls from time to time and did so when they were younger. She seemed to think it may have to do with needing a bit more solitude. I started with Spartacus and worked my way round the barn. There were curious goats living next door that stood and peered over from time to time. It would be the first time the sheep had seen goats too which should be interesting for them. I have enjoyed a warmer relationship with Spartacus, Horatio and Sieggy and they were true to form in the time I spent with them. Leroy was subdued and needed time to himself but engaged a bit. Charlie, Brick and Justin were a bit skittish but were curious about the activity in the yard and around them. They explored their new food and decided it was not too bad at all. It was a dry green mixture that constituted all their nutritional needs and they had hay.
It had been important to me to be able to settle them in and sit with them as they inhabited their new space. I had been there when they were let out the stable in to the field outside after three weeks or so after birth and then found them for their first field move, then in to the woods and then further fields on the farms. For me, it provided continuity and I wanted them to feel supported each time. This has proved challenging when they have become ill and at times I had to visit up to five locations in an evening. I have heard that they are doing well at the sanctuary and hope that they have a good life ahead of them.
I did not reach my funding target which was about £1800 instead of the original ambitious £200,000 I had asked for. I funded the rest myself after people who have contributed, as I realised after the last visit that there was no way it could not go ahead and whatever the financial consequences, it was something I had to do. The crowd funding ends in two days and the situation for the brown-faced lamb is unresolved if he recovers. I hear he is still coughing. I am thinking of getting an animal transport license so I can take him if I can borrow or hire a vehicle to do so. It is just an idea at the moment. Having not been able to afford sending the first lot and now having to find money for my storage unit renewal, I have to get my finances in order pretty quick smart this year, which I guess is motivation to get organised. Check if I have any PPI owed (by my own investigation not a company) and to sell anything, get rid of anything I do not need. Looks like I will be car booting this Summer…
I am very inspired by Hillside Animal Sanctuary and they really genuinely care and are in a position to do something for the animals they have rescued. I really hope that people will support the work that they do and contribute if and when they can if they feel so inclined. I feel that there was so much more I could have done to reach out to media but the new placement I have has been intense and I have been working in to the evenings a lot on it – which I do not resent but it has been very frustrating with not being able to give this my full attention. I am glad I do not have the pressure of fund raising now and will keep adding photos and videos of the sheep and other animals I have worked with as I get organised. I would like to share moments and observations of my work. I have really benefited from my relationship with the lambs and maybe can get on to writing the second draft of a children’s book I wrote with more farm experience now – as it was set on a farm. Please keep connected with social media if you would like to see more as I have a back log of animal moments. Although I had a close relationship with the lambs, I find that it is about time and consistency with many species, then it is the individual character of the animal that I have memories of.
My media is as follows so far but may change as it is not all about sheep. Main changes will be on my personal Facebook site. I have footage since 2011 so I will be busy..
A visual walk through this journey can be seen on the sheepstars blog album.
https://www.facebook.com/michelle.artiss
https://sheepstarsblog.wordpress.com/
https://www.facebook.com/sheepstars
https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/sheep-stars-a-friendly-orphan-flock/x/9512176
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUWJqwUx1apc4IKrr8znfPw
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